This is not how I intended to start college. Every day, I wake up to the same white ceiling that I've stared up at for the past seventeen years. This year was supposed to be different. I was supposed to wake up to something new. I was supposed to be able to grow in ways that my small town wouldn't let me. But Covid-19 had different plans for my freshman year. Every kid dreams of going to college and being on their own, but this years freshman class has been stripped of that. Instead, we sit all day in zoom meetings, our eyes barely leaving our computer screens. But during this semester, I have been able to grow, even without living on campus. I wasn't supposed to be stuck in my room at my desk all year, but here I am. I've only been to College Park twice, and both of those times were for tours. It's rough. Some of my professors will never know who I am. Not because it is a giant lecture hall, but because the class is a pre-recorded video. I haven't met anyone through zoom classes (professors suggest private messaging someone but let's be honest, that's awkward) and I think that a lot of students who stayed home have the same struggles. Another hard aspect of staying home this year is classes. It is hard to stare at a computer for several hours a day. It is hard to not pick up my phone and start scrolling through Tik Tok (especially when my cameras off).
Throughout the semester, I've taken pictures that all in someway represent my life and what it has been these last few months. These pictures are just short moments that mean something special to me.
In Media, Self and Society, we have a motto to represent what all of us are going through. "Media, Self and 2urviv4l."
This is our motto because this year has truly been about survival. Surviving the loneliness of quarantine. Surviving the coronavirus. Surviving online classes. Surviving the loss of a year we had all been looking forward to. Freshman year is far from over, but so is Covid. What lies ahead in 2021 is still covered in a thick white fog, but soon enough the fog will begin to dissipate. My classmates and I will eventually meet in person. I will eventually be on campus. Every single person in this world lost something in 2020 that they can't get back next year. But, we survived. We grew. We matured. We learned.
Even if all you can say is that you survived, smile.
There's a light ahead.
About a week into the semester, my mom was gifted a seed, a pod of dirt, and a pot. I planted the seed and dirt pod into the pot. I took this picture about two weeks after planting the seed.
Back in May, my high school had us come to pick up our caps and gowns. My best friend, Ashley, and I planned it so that we would both go at the same time so we could wave at each other. A few hours after, she called me and told me "There are some really cool clouds over Hebron, you should go outside!" My immediate reaction before even stepping outside was "Why are you outside my house?" I walked out and her and her mom drove up and she gave me this.
She told me I looked sad when we went to pick up our gowns. I hung it up a few weeks later (took me awhile to figure out how to hang it up). I feel very blessed to have a best friend like her. I just hope I can make friends like her at College Park sophomore year.
This is what I look at everyday. That's the corner of my laptop, one of my pens, my computer mouse and my water bottle. The two bible verses on the inside of my laptop help me to stay focused on the days where I'd rather lay in bed than sit at my desk.
"Be strong and courageous," Joshua 1:9
"God is within her, she will not fall," Psalm 46:5
These are my little cousins, Gaia and Aren. They are both more like siblings to me. Since they couldn't go trick or treating this year, I took them to a farmers market. We were able to social distance and enjoy ourselves. This was one of the happier moments of my year. We got to go in a corn maze (and get lost) and then pick out pumpkins (which we took back to my house to carve).
One very exciting thing that did not get cancelled by Covid was the 2020 presidential election! I got to vote for the first time! It's something that I've been looking forward to since I was a kid. Waiting in line for half an hour was exciting to me. That sticker felt like a badge of honor. My voice got to matter.
The same plant from the first picture, but about a month or so later. The plant is a lot bigger now, but every time I remember to take a picture of it, it's night time. Either way, it's grown. You did too, whether you realize it or not. And one day, it will bloom.
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